Sort of.

As a responsible American, I enjoy keeping up with governmental issues and decisions. It's always interesting to see just exactly what they are all doing down at the state capitol and Washington, D.C.

They're always up to something.

A few months ago, I was pleased to find that I could watch live broadcasts from the U.S. House of Representatives and Senate via our new satellite dish. Basically, it's a lot of hot air, but it is still interesting. I like to be up-to-date with the actions of the government, mainly to see how I will benefit from them.

"Ask not what your country can do for you," my motto says, "but how well it will do it."

So naturally, I was very pleased when the Kansas Supreme Court threatened to close schools if the State Board of Education couldn't come up with a few more million dollars to fund them.

I immediately started planning my extended summer vacation.

After watching the national House of Representatives and the Senate, I was pretty sure that our state legislators would spend all their time arguing over what to order for lunch, and never actually get to the real issue-Should we eat out, or have them deliver?-before the deadline.

But unfortunately, in a strange twist of fate, they actually agreed on something, so now school is back on my calendar for next year. I'm assuming this happened because they skipped lunch.

I was in Topeka when this decision was made. Once inside city limits, you (not you personally) could almost feel the tension between the members of the board.

"...So I think that is the best way to go."

"I disagree. Pizza would be a better alternative."

"Chinese is definitely the best."

"Now wait a minute! We have to get this thing straightened out soon. We need fast food."

"How about McDonald's?"

"No! Spangles."

"I move that we have Spangles for lunch."

"I second the motion."

"I still have some discussion on this issue...."

I think you get the picture.

With all the free time on my hands, I thought about going down to the Capitol and walk around holding a sign saying, "Give me something to write about. Close schools."

But I figured they would most likely frown on that idea.

The reason for my stay in Topeka was that there was a Kansas Choral Directors Association convention taking place. In case you haven't noticed, I am not personally a Kansas Choral Director, but my dad is. And to keep him from getting himself into trouble, I had to go along.

What they do at these conventions is mainly sit around and sight-read music. This happens at reading sessions, wherein everyone gets a packet of free music, and they all sing through the pieces.

At least they attempt to. Some of them don't quite keep up.

Another thing they did was listen to lectures from famous people. "Famous" meaning someone who is willing to come and lecture for very low pay.

The lecturers talked about the things that high school choir students around the world are trying to avoid-namely, correct posture and warmups.

Needless to say, I skipped the lectures.

But I was surprised to find that, although in class they can seem very boring, choir directors really know how to party. On the last day, they had a big luncheon, which was followed by an annual event called the "Russ and Steve Show." The show consists of two guys (Russ and Steve), who are both very funny.

The exhibitors at the convention always leave stuff to give away, and Russ and Steve are in charge of the distribution. They draw names of the attendants at the convention, and then the drawee can either choose to accept the item that they were picked for, or they can trade for a previously given away item.

One of the highlights of this year's "Russ and Steve Show" were a few marble busts of composers (Beethoven, Mozart, etc.). They had fun with this, because up until this year, they had always given away plastic busts, but now they had natural ones. (Some people never grow up.)

My name got chosen for a bust, much to the amusement of everyone else in the room.

Another major even at the convention was the women's choir, which consisted of a lot of high school females. They had been practicing throughout the convention and performed Friday night.

The concert was good...at least the part of the concert that happened on stage. It seems that no matter where I go, the audience seems to feel the need to contribute there own sounds.

With this in mind, I would like to present to you the Guide to Concert Etiquette:

1. Turn off your cellphone.

2. Wait until AFTER the musical piece to play with your paper program.

3. Refrain from making various bodily noises during a musical number. This includes clearing your through, coughing, blowing you nose, flatulence and letting your cellphone ring.

4. The appropriate time to clap is AFTER the director has totally lowered his or her arms. A long chord does not always indicate the end of a piece, and you will suffer great embarrassment when the choir keeps singing after your untimely applause.

5. Turn off your cellphone.

I have more to say on this topic, but I have to go decide what to have for lunch.

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UFO: The shortest war on record occurred in 1896, between Britain and Zanzibar. It lasted only 38 minutes.

Don't ask why.