Press conference probes release of new book
Because my only job is writing, which takes about 30 minutes out of each week, I tend to have a lot of spare time on my hands.
I fill these empty hours doing various things such as painting, designing Web sites and eating.
But recently I started a new project: publishing a book.
I am happy to report that a copy of this book is now sitting on the desk in front of me, screaming for attention. So I thought I could use this week's column as a "press release." So here is the official press conference for my new book. I will be answering the most commonly asked questions.
Q. Which came first: the chicken or the egg?
A. I meant commonly asked questions about this book.
Q. Oh.
Q. You wrote a book?
A. Yup.
Q. What's it called?
A. The title I chose is "David Vogel Asks 'Why?'"
Q. What's it about?
A. I thought you'd never ask! "David Vogel Asks 'Why?'" is a collection of 48 of my favorite columns, as of January. It also has a brand-new introduction and afterword, as well as the least-professional copyright page you'll ever see.
Q. How long did it take you to put together?
A. To tell you the truth, I really don't know. The part that took the longest was proofreading, as a lot of changes happen after the column enters the Free Press computers. Formatting also took a while.
Q. What is the price you have on this book?
A. $19.95.
Q. (Eyes get really big, and jaw drops open.)
A. I know it's kind of expensive, but the price they charge to make the book, and then what they charge to ship the stupid thing, is quite high. I also wanted to make a little money off of it, so I had to raise it a little too. But I'm sure you'll find that it's worth the price. Now close your mouth. You're starting to drool.
Q. How long is this book?
A. It's 5 by 8 inches.
Q. I meant how many pages.
A. Sorry. It is 177 pages, plus the "About the Author" part at the back of the book.
Q. So, where I can I buy your book?
A. Thee Bookstore in Hillsboro has kindly agreed to let me stick a few in their store. I am hoping to have them supplied with a few in the next month.
Also, I will be glad to take orders personally. If you see me out on the street, go ahead and pull me out of oncoming traffic. Then you can ask me for an order form.
Also, you can go to my Web site, www.geocities.com/dont_ask_david, and send me an on-line order form.
Q. What if I own a bookstore, and would like to carry your book?
A. If you would like to carry my book, go to my Web site and send me an email. In fact, you don't even have to have a bookstore. I'd be happy to have my book sold at a grocery store! Ebay would be fun, too.
Q. So, who published your book?
A. This is the one question that I always have a hard time answering. It was printed by a company called CafePress (www.cafepress.com). But, I decided to form my own publishing company because of all the formatting, editing and designing that I had to do for this book. My publishing company is Cafeteria Chicken Press.
Q. Well, that's all I want to know. How about a UFO?
A. OK.
* * *
UFO: A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why.
