What's with counting Super Bowls with confusing Roman numerals?
This Sunday marks one of the greatest party days in America. A day where the events are broadcast into 182 countries. A day where more than 14,500 tons of chips-along with more than 8 million pounds of guacamole-are served. A day that is followed by 6 percent of the population calling in sick on Monday and a 20 percent increase in antacid sales.
That's right, Sunday is the 227th anniversary of France recognizing the United States, thus signing the treaty of aid in Paris, as well as England declaring war on France.
But we haven't gotten to that part in history class, so I can't tell you much about it.
Also, this Sunday is Super Bowl XXXIX. For those of you who count in English, that would be Super Bowl 39.
The fancy little symbols that are always used after the words "Super Bowl" are called Roman numerals. As I'm sure you've guessed, they were created by the Romans as a way to count before numbers were invented.
Here's a basic rundown of how Roman numerals work: "I" equals 1, "V" is worth 5, "X" is worth 10, the red chips are worth 20, the blue chips are worth 30, and so on, and if you're holding a good hand-such as a full house (a funny TV show), a flush (what you're told to do as a child just before washing your hands), a straight flush (the same thing as a flush without all the swirling) or a high card (the slapping of two playing cards together), you can get everyone else's Roman numerals that they bet, and then remember something you have to do right away so you don't risk losing your Roman numerals all over again (which would make you have to sleep on the couch).
The only problem with using Roman numerals is that no one actually understands them. The guys who invented them are dead, and they were the only ones who could probably remember how they worked. (Although even they had to whip out their special calculators that were equipped with a Roman numeral feature from time to time.)
Actually, I think that if everyone refreshed their memories often enough, they could maybe remember the first three digits-er, letters-of Roman numerals.
However, if the world used just the first three, sometime in the future, there would be a "Super Bowl XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXVI," which literally means "this number is too big to fit on the header of the official Super Bowl Web site."
By the way, the official Super Bowl site is www.superbowl.com in case you were wondering.
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A while back I was sitting in the lunch room with some friends, observing the various "Got milk?" posters that where hung around the room. Maybe "Got milk?" is an understatement. By the size of the posters, it was more like "GOT MILK?"
On every poster was a picture of a celebrity. Of course, these celebrities were on there to make people actually notice them (not that the size wasn't going to do anything).
I, following my ways, had no clue who any of the celebrities were, and my friends had to describe what each star was famous for. I commented that the only famous musicians that I really knew about where dead white guys-you know, Bach, Beethoven and Mozart.
Still on the topic of famous music people, we got on the popular conversation about last year's Super Bowl halftime show, which I'm sure no viewer will ever forget.
So this year I have decided that the only way I'm going to watch the Super Bowl XXXIX halftime show is if Mozart is performing. I suggest you tune in for that, too. It'll be a good performance.
Just don't forget the guacamole.
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UFO: The increase of viewers from kickoff to the game's end for Super Bowl XXXIV was 18 million!
