If you were thinking about buying stock in any large companies, I would strongly suggest getting a few shares of Petco. My reasoning is that I now own a mouse.
For those of you who don’t know, Petco is a large, franchised pet store that specializes in selling small animals that serve no real purpose in the (cue “Lion King” music) Great Circle of Life other than pooping and dying.
I was enjoying myself at Hillsboro High School’s junior/senior/assorted underclassmen/several outside dates prom two weekends ago when I discovered that I have a serious dental emergency that I need to have looked at immediately.
United States researchers have recently revealed the discovery of a very common disease that is not new, but has gone unnoticed and untreated for decades. The disease, named Male Pattern Mallness, is a temporarily crippling virus that can potentially affect any male at some point in his life.
I feel like I’ve been disillusioned. All of my life, I’ve been led to believe that poets were overly sensitive people who spend hours sitting in a dark room, meticulously putting their sensitive thoughts onto paper using sensitive words.
If there’s anything that you want to avoid under any circumstances, it’s making a satirical remark about how long it has been since your girlfriend last shaved her legs.
