When A-Rod signed with the Yankees, I thought I had this week’s column pretty well mapped out: two thoughts about why the Yankees would pour $275 million worth of batter into a cake they already know will turn out half-baked; two jokes about how Scott Boras will cope with standing in line for his unemployment check and two observations about other times when baseball history has repeated itself.
Much has been made of the New England Patriots’ 9-0 start to the NFL season. Turn on a pre-game show, and a holographic representation of Terry Bradshaw’s cloned talking head will still be making a big deal out of the connection between the so-called Camera-Gate signals-stealing “scandal” earlier this year and the Patriots obvious inclination toward scoring more points than are minimally necessary to win.
The Colorado Rockies have officially stepped out into the big time, and I couldn’t be more excited about baseball. I keep having this dream where David Ortiz is trying to play first base while dragging an oxygen tank and hobbling around like a dying mob boss who smoked three cigars a day for 47 straight years.
